Over the month of may 2012 and earlier months i have tried updating funny status , motivational and others just to make my friends laugh and feel happy and so far so good, its been a wonderful experience.
I do not want you my esteemed reader to be left out of the fun so am just gonna post my top 5 funny status updates for the month of may 2012 according to number of likes on the status.
Here They Are:
- A young girl about to go on a 1st date with her boyfriend was been tutored by her grandma.”He will try to kiss you, allow him. He will try to cuddle you, allow him. He will try to lay u down and get on top of you, don’t allow him”.The girl asked, “grandma, why?”. Grandma said, “because if you do that, you have allowed him to disgrace you and all ur family”.Girl said “okay” and left on her date.Several hours later she returned and grandma asked “how did it go?”.Girl said “exactly as you said except when he laid me down and tried to disgrace our family, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family”.Grandma fainted!!
- Three drunkards entered a taxi. The taxi driver noticed they were terribly drunk now decided to fire the car turtle while d car was still at d same position. After sometime he stopped firing and asked d drunkards to pay him that he has reached their destinations. The first drunkard alighted and thanked him. The second alighted gave him money. The third drunkard alighted and slapped d driver so the driver was afraid that d drunkards have realized what happened. D driver now asked why d slap? The drunkard replied him next time reduce ur speed u almost killed us.
- A girl realised that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- “that part where hair have grown is called Monkey, be proud dat your monkey have grown hair”. . . .
the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-“my monkey have grown hair”
Her sister smiled and said-“that’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas”…Mom fainted
- Two little boys stole a bag of oranges from their neighbor & decided to go to a calm place to share the loot” one of them suggested the nearby cemetery .
As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, 2 oranges fell out of the bag behind the gate’ but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in d bag .
Few minuets later A drunk man on his way from a local bar passes near the cemetery gate and heard a voice:
“One for me, one for u. “One for me, one for u”
He immediately sobers up and runs as fast as he can to the local priest.
“Father, father, father!!!
pls come with me come and witness God & Satan sharing corpse at the cemetery.”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued:
“One for me, one for u, one for me, one for u..
Suddenly the voice stop counting and says:
“What about the two at the gate?”
Omo come see marathon ….even the priest almost pass church gate !!! shouting we are not dead yet Oº°
- I was comin home last tuesdy evening afta a hectic day n found a small bag on d ground,i opened it n gues wot?,i found inside $50,000! fear 1st catch me bt later tuk d bag home n wen i open it,i found sum document,i.d card,atm card n 1phone,i tot abt trowing d sim away n kipin d phone n also dispos d document n kip d money,afta a long tot,i decided 2 leave tins as dey were hopindt d owner wil cal,nt long afta a call came tru on d phone,i picked n talk wit d caller,aparently it was d owner of d bag dt call cos name absolutely very content of d bag,we met aftawrds n i handed him d bag,he ofered me $2,000 bt i turnd it down,he coloected my no n i left,yesterdy he calld me n offered me a job @chevron worth #750,000 per month,a 3 bedrum flat fuly furnished n a 2012 bmw x6,,as i wssmilling n testin d car,my mum just slaped me n said oyaoyaoya wake up!!eba don ready..
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